As National Breastfeeding Month progresses, I find that I hear a mixture of feelings in regards to the month itself. Some people think it’s a great way to spread knowledge about breastfeeding, while others think it’s an attack on choosing different ways to feed our babies. But, why can’t we celebrate one way without shaming the other?
Let me first discuss my story.
It all started when I was pregnant with my now 7-year-old. When I was pregnant and dreamt about what it would be like to be a mommy, my dreams included exclusively breastfeeding. I imagined it as this magical bonding tool, which would also keep my baby extra healthy. Seemed like a win-win, right?
Well, while I was pregnant, I attended a La Leche meeting or two and went to a birthing class to try and gain as much knowledge as possible. I still maintained the same dreams of exclusively breastfeeding and still with this illusion (or disillusion) of how it would make me feel. In a nutshell, I had my baby girl and besides a little episode of jaundice, was perfectly healthy and beautiful. Looking back now, it all seems to be a haze of emotions, mostly which ended up with me crying. Crying because I was happy, crying because I was worried about her jaundice and crying, well, for the sake of crying!
I exclusively breastfed my first daughter for about 9 months. I was lucky enough to not encounter any infections or anything really devastating during that time. I did end up supplementing at 9 months because after I returned to work my body did not respond well to the pump. I was struggling to get just enough for the next day. I tried eating oatmeal, drinking mother’s milk tea and anything under the sun but to no avail. So in order to stop driving myself crazy, I nursed her when I was with her, pumped just once a day at work, and supplemented with formula and I was able to give her this mixture of breastmilk and formula until she was a year old.
Now back to what inspired me to write this.
Being that it’s National Breastfeeding Month, there seems to be some controversy as to why we as moms cannot just support one another in our choice of formula or breast milk. Being a mom, I have noticed that moms judge each other for EVERYTHING. I see it among my mommy friends, moms at the pool, moms in Target, and I know I have been guilty as well. I do agree that we should not judge moms who choose formula or moms who choose breast, but is it wrong to want a pat on the back?
I did make the choice to breastfeed. I did wake up all hours of the night to feed my baby. I did take my baby everywhere because I was her source of food and the thought of her wanting milk and me not being there scared the hell out of me. I did cry and cry with my baby latched on to my breast because I missed my freedom and missed the old me.
I had this dream of what breastfeeding would be and it certainly was not what was painted in my mind. It was a giving of myself that I had no concept of and wouldn’t understand until I started my breastfeeding journey. Of course, I had good times with nursing my daughter (and then my second daughter). Those good times are what kept me going and as a fellow breastfeeding friend told me, never quit breastfeeding on a bad day. And the day I decided to supplement, I made the decision when I was in a good place. I don’t feel guilty that I had to supplement because I felt that I had given my baby my best and supplementing would allow me to continue doing that. When it came to my second baby, I chose to introduce the bottle at 6 months, because I didn’t want to go through the torture of pumping, and she took to the bottle so well that I switched to formula at 6 months. No regrets here!
So do I feel formula is the wrong choice? Not at all.
It was there for me when I needed it, and with my third child on the way, I suspect that I will need formula sooner than later. But I do feel that breastfeeding moms deserve a month out of the year to come together and bring praise to something that seems to be looked upon as gross, at times. A month where we can take off those awful nursing covers and be proud of the gift we are giving our babies. We deserve to be proud of what our bodies can do and not have to worry about offending those who chose formula or who needed formula.
Out of all the breastfeeding moms I have met, not one looked down upon formula feeding mommies. I’m not saying that those people don’t exist, but let’s be honest, moms judge each other for everything! So instead of making this about judging each other’s feeding choices, let’s just come together and give that pat on the back that many moms out there need and deserve.
